Asthma made me realize how precious it is to breathe again one more time.
Every morning in usual days, when I gasp for air, I thank God for the ability to breathe normally and for having a day without having to cough and sniff for such a thousand times. I thank Him for the days that I never have to wheeze so as to put that annoying machine onto my nose and mouth, or to take medicines for days. But those struggle-free days—I seem to forget them whenever I come face-to- face with one of my adversaries , which I was battling with for many years now, Asthma.
If you happen to know the feeling of heavily panting, having clogged nose, cough and cold all at the same time, you may happen to comprehend with my distress. I have Allergic Rhinitis that makes it worse. Storming my nose first, the first phase of my asthma attacks lasts for a whole day. It usually starts with a runny nose and itchy eyes that is caused by allergens. Such allergens include smoke, dust, animal hair, powdered stuff, pollen, even strong perfume among other things. Next thing is that dry cough that if gets worse, stays for days.
I only know two kinds of Asthma. The one that strikes fast and leaves fast, and the one that lets you endure for at least a couple of days—that’s my guy.
Time slows down when you have this kind of ailment. A day feels like two or even three since sufferers struggle to sleep. One can barely leave his room for a reason of awful weakness and pants for just trying to go somewhere else. Given that, Asthma sufferers could not make daily household chores happen, and even suspend one’s schedule for work or school —it would double the trigger if the patients would not find time to rest.
Not being able to go to school, or not seeing my friends and loved ones during those days is somewhat depressing. I thank God that I have my family that knows my distress. They genuinely care and love me; even sacrificing their own strength, time, money , effort or their own health for my sake.
Most of us say not to admit the thought of having great problems, instead claim the greatness of God and His power. There’s nothing wrong about that. In fact, that’s absolutely the perfect thing to do. But in my case, it feels like the enemy is staring at me right in the eyes. Asthma still gets me down and depressed. My asthma could have ruined my future but God rescues me. Yet, I am sure that God will give me a breakthrough.
What I am saying is, I accept the fact that my adversary is great. I accept the fact that I have no control over it. I accept the fact that this infirmity is gigantic for me. But you know what? The greatest, reliable fact that I believe among those facts is that GOD IS GREATER. He is able to do immeasurably far more than we could possibly ask, think or imagine. He is stronger than any sickness , disease or infirmity. Believing and dwelling on those things with all of my heart and mind, I gain new strength to persevere, fight and to refuse to be defeated .
Our weaknesses and the greatness of our walls and mountains, do not make God less stronger. In fact, the greatness of our harms and struggles exponentially magnify our perspetive of God’s power, strength and ability over all of it.
When a cough or cold is healed by God, we barely notice it. But when God heals cancer, we praise Him greatly for it. Why? Because we know that cancer is great. We know that cancer is lethal. We know that cancer is a real and deadly threat.
I consider asthma as a high wall that I could not overcome. Maybe for now. I asked God for healing for many times but still haven’t received it. I asked Him as well for the reason that I have asthma, like most people ask, ‘Why me?’ I ask myself, “ Is my faith insufficient? Is it defective? Have I failed God at trusting Him?”
Many people, when faced at life’s hard situations , ask the same questions. Most of the times, we only want the best things from God. We demand them from Him. But when the times come that we need to be tested or challenged, we become angry and question Him about His love for us.When Job’s wife told him to curse God after all that has happened to him, he said,”…Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?”(2:10). There is a reason why I have asthma. I know there is. One day, I will be able to see clearly. I don’t have the right to question Him about His will. I know that He knows what He does and He has a perfect plan. Jeremiah 29:11 keeps ringing in my ears, “ For I know the plans I have for you, plans for welfare and not for calamity , plans to give you hope and a future.”
Right now, this is my mountain—and with my own ability, I don’t know how to overcome it—I couldn’t help myself. I’m helpless and I need rescuing from God. One day (sooner), at the time of deliverance, I would crush this mountain from above and everybody would know that my God is the God who really heals!
Indeed, I don’t love this, but I never hated it either. I just take it as a challenge to my faith like that of Job, Abraham, Moses, Daniel, Joseph, David, Paul and most especially Jesus; believing that the testing of the faith produces endurance.
There is a purpose. I will not stop believing that one day, God will deliver me. I will not stop believing that God will strip my asthma away from me. I just can’t wait! Let me share with you my life verse:
And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Today, the world calls me asthmatic. Forever, the Lord calls me His own— new and whole. To God be the glory!
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The Journey of a Hopeful 